Friday 13th vs Frends who nibbl books

Friday the 13th is well unluckitudinal. Spesheellee if ur 13 years old on it! An evryfing went wrong for me for a howl week! It well grim! An jus wen I get bak to the sayftee of me bordin school I meet me book-nibblers on Shelfari, an now they tayken the curs off me.

So I tell u the story of me 1313 olidays.


I jus add the most weirdest birfday I eva ad in me whole lifage. Wich is now exaclee 13 years long. My Dad pickd me up from me bordin scool in York an we flyin ome. An I finkin ~ Grayt! I get to relax an tork wiv me bestest frend aliyv oo livs in USAshire.

An as I relaxin liyk, I member it me 13th birthday! Cos I did actullee forget! An it Friday the 13th! An I then finkin I flyin at 240 knots in a tin can that keeping 8,000 feet up in the air by lowds an lowds an lowds of technicalations and whirly bits, an there well squillions of fings redy to break, an us all die in a second. So I not too relaxd no mor. An me Dad then ses ~ we not goin ome cos ee got a surpriys for me. Well now I finkin ~ Grayt! Now if this chopper holds togeva long enuff to land me sayf, then I not evn gonna ave a relaxin tym then cos me Dad got a surpriys for me.

U know wen ur dad as a surpriys for u it not gonna be owt that u can possibly fink of as bein a supriys! It gonna be pretty bad!

Well we start landin an all I can see is miyls an miyls of trees an a big plastic bublble. An I finkin Friday the 13th is not a day to av ur 13th birfday in a bubble in a wood! But then Dad ses we campin. So I finkin that mor liyk it! Fings r getting betta.

But dads r well gud at sayin somfin that not qwiyt troo, an then givin U a good hidin if U lie! Then I realiys that it not no campin u an I fink of! It not no sleepin unda no starry skies an camp fiyrs an owls an shit! No! It in a big wooden hut wiv elctric, an beds, an sauna, an chakoozee, an shit! So I finkin ~ Grayt!

But me new frens r ther from Plymouth so I well appee anyways. Then I put me new birfday music from Templeton on, an it Pinky Floyd, wich is almost the real name of Wilbur. An then fings start goin all 1313 agen! Me Dad starts singin at the top of is voice! Now Dads neva sing gud do they? Miyn neva sing befor in my liyf! An ee sayvd it up for me 13th birfday!

Well it got a bit betta cos I got to swim, an sauna, an showa, wiv me frend,s an we went sailin, an climbin the wall of death, an cyclin. Oh yeh! Now Dads wer neva eva ment to riyd biyks once they Dads. No ways! Byks r for kids NOT grown up Dads. Speshellee if they well old liyk miyn is! He lookd so funnee it was embarassin. Lukee for me I well gud on a biyk, so me an me frends left im behind to embarrass me Mam.

Oh! Yeh! I wantd to speek to me bestest frend on the interentitudinal an ther no bludee signal cos we in a wood! So I well ratty. At leest I finkin ~ We get ome on Wedlesday an I enjoy a niyc relax at ome torkin wiv my bestest frend. Who is called Templeton by the way.

Then Dad got anova bloomin surpriys for me! I finkin ~ I ope I neva av a nova 13th birfday on Friday the 13th! So now we not goin ome to relax an tork wiv bestest frens called Templeton. No, we goin somewher reellee shitty! An then the chopper breaks down! Yeah! I finkin ~ Grayt! So it jus mak it ther on Friday the 13th, so ther no way I getting in it evn if they fix it.

One day layta we in the hottest playc on the howl erf, an I told by me Dad that ee sellin ower owm! An we not liv ther no mor! Yeh! Niys surpriys Dad! Appee Birfday! So we in Doobye in Africa in the Uniytd Arab Emeralds, were they well strict on wot u wer an who u tork to an wot u say, an the Poleec allowd to beet naughtee kids wiv sticks. An I finkin ~ Grayt! Fanks Dad! All I wantd for me birfday oliday was to sit in front of me big open fiyr in me lownj, jus dressd in me undies, toastin me bits in the heat, an drinkin Auntys ome mayd Lemonayd in a glass full of iyc, an tork to me bestest frend Templeton on the internet. An wot does Dad do? Ee gows an sells me ows! I gonna look stupid sittin in the middl of a bludee sand dewn in me undies drinkin driyd wata from a camels hoof an not bein abl to get on the internet wiv me appletop jus befor it melts in the sun, then getting cort by the poliyc for wearin undies an bein beeten in the cells, an av me and choppd off, an probablee a foot. That not my idea of me birfday oliday!

So jus for gud mesher, I go an get all angree wiv me Dad cos ee not fink obowt me an me bestest mayt Templeton, an ther no internet in the desert, an that I always getting in trubl for bein rood, so I well gonna get arrested an beeten by the Poliyc, an I love me mansion in England, even if it dus av 7 orses in it. An I got nowher to riyd me quad cos Dads new ows is in som prison fing calld Doorah Bay. Exept wen u see it ritten in Arabic it jus a lowd of squggles that not meen owt! An ther electrifiyd fenc all arownd!

So I finkin ~ I been getting away wiv bein well naughty for exaclee 7 years. So now I gotta be well carful now cos I in Doobye prison! But I well too layt for that cos I alredee been well rood to Dad for bringin me ere an ruinin me birfday. So afta me gud idin, (actulee it was jus befor my gud idin!) I realiys i gotta be niyc an poliyt an gud.


So wen I got bak to skool wer evreebodee is niyc an frendlee an speeks englishitudes, an wears clowvs an not pyjamas, an u neva eva get beeten no matta ow naughty u is, or av quiyt important parts of ur bodee severed off, an u can breev wivowt ur hairs in ur nows meltin, I fink I feelin a bit betta. Evn if me room bully is bein speshlee nastee!

An wen I woked up ere this mornin I finkin ~ It all jus a mare of Brobdignagian proportions. But it not. Me 13th birthday oliday was reel!

So I goes on me Blog fing. An ther messages for me from me Shelfari acownt. An ther ar lowds of peepl wantin to be my frend. An ther lowds of messages askin me abowt me, an me school, an wot books I red. An all but one of them is girlies! They not av no girlies in Doobye! I not bein rood or nowt, it jus niyc to av girlies torkin to u an askin niyc qwestions wivowt wantin to powk u wiv a pin, or giggl, or be rood.

An eva sinc I met them an torkd wiv my new frens at Shelfari, I feel well appee. Cos they liftd me 1313 curs off me.

So I fink me new book-nibblin frens deserv a cheer for showin the 1313 curs that reedin gud books is betta then a reel crappy birfday oliday, any day!

Fanks.

Tiger