Kids vs Adults II

Adults have everything! - Us kids get diddley!

Why is it that adults get to mak all the rules abowt wot us kids do an we get to mak no rules at all?

I ave to go to bed wen I told. I not even at ome an an adult tellin me wen to go to bed. But if I sed "Excuse me, Pater! I think it is a tad past your bed time!" I know my bum will be throbbin afta abowt 10 seconds.

I told I not allowd to smoke cos I too youngest. Ok then! This Christymouse we ad 27 peepl stayin in ower ouse an alf of them smokd. I sittin enjoyin me big ice cream sunday that me Mam made special for me an it spoilt by some smelly rich geezer smokin is cigar that smell of burnin rubber an blowin it at me face! Then I gets sent away from the table wivout me sunday cos I sed "Excuse me! But I am too young to smoke."

Now how is that fair? It ok for me Uncle Charles Nelson Reilly to dowse me wiv cancer air and smelly stench gas, but if I ask for a fag I get me lug clippd.

So I eatin me dinner an decide that i prefer to stab mesel in the eye with me uncles cigar rather then eat me sprouts, so I leave them. Oh no! I carnt do that! I gotta eat them to make me grow big an strong! Excuse me! But I pretty big for 12 an I well strong enough to pick up an axe an chop wood for the fire. So I ask why Auntie Arable can leave hers an not me an now I bein cheeky! I onlee askd a question an jus cos I a kid I beein cheeky an growin up small an feeble! So I ad to spend 15 minits secretly shovin them in me sock wich i can tell u is not very plesant an is a bugger to get owt of me white carpet in me bedroom. Now if they let me leev me sprouts our cook wud av scraped them into our pig an that take 5 seconds. But now I waste 15 mins secretin them abowt me body, the cleaner spends an hour gettin a mysterious green stain owt me bedroom carpet, the maid spends hours tryin to work out why all the washin is green an I ave to wash me ankles. That sownd lik a waste of bludy time to me.

So now I almost a teeneyager I fort I well old enuff to try some alcohol. So afta Christelmus Eve dinna I askd if I cud ave a vodka an tonic wiv ice an a slic in a long glass. I am afraid that a cool blooberry J2O is nic but not wot I askd for. So I try agen an told by Uncle Fuzzy that I too yung to drink as well as smokulate.

So if I ave to wait until I 18 then I can be a daddy an be bringin up 2 kids an av anova on the way, an votin for me Primal Minista, an razzin arownd at 70 miles an hour on a motorbike for two years, an be dyin in the army an killin peeple in Afganistanlymathews, an landin an aeroplane on me own at Luton Airport wiv 10 passengers chillin in me cabin, but I not allowed to sip a vodka martini shaken an not stirrd.

We ave to stay in school till we 16 - ses the adults.

We ave to be in wen it dark - ses the adults.

we not alowd to smoke or drink - ses the adults.

Wen do we get a kids parliment so we can mak som decent laws for us?

By the way, I found owt why us kids r not to drink alcohol stuff, cos it maks u well sqiffy an peeple tak advantag of u an u carnt walk proper an it giv u a shitty headache an u throw up an ur eyes r lik u got sand in em an u carnt do noffin for a day an u cry a lot. I know! Cos I spikd Geoffrey's punch wiv vodka an ee onlee 10, an thats wot append to im.