Tiglish vs English

Ok! I jus ad a well big lectur from me English teecha abowt ow I riyt an ow I shud riyt. Well I gonna tell u now my Tiglish is much betta then English cos it got no iregula shit an evrything is sed liyk it ritten. An that gotta be betta then English wich is mayd up of lots of different languages anyhow.

So ere is my cays for Tiglish:

I startd riytin liyk this for fun wen I on the internet cos evrybodee writin slang an texty words an shit cos they qwicka to text on ur mobiyl. Then I chayngd words cos English has silleee spellins an it not consistentalitudinal. So I chayngd all the words I cud fink of into betta spellins. Cos if u av a word liyk ‘bone’ u af to pronowns it ‘bown’ so I say why not riyt it liyk that in the first playc? But the word ‘gone’ is the saym spellin but u pronowns it ‘gon’ so why not jus riyt that?

Ther r lowds of letters in English that not av to be ther so I jus get rid of them if they not doin any gud. An that’s anova one! ‘Good’ is pronowncd ‘gud’ an ‘wood’ is ‘wud’ so wat the hell is ‘spoon’? So I fink ‘oo’ is as u say it an ‘u’ is as u say it so jus bludee riyt it! Its eesee.

I not perfectd me Tiglish yet cos I keep nowtisin finngs liyk ‘eesee’. It shud be ‘eezee’ cos it a z sownd an not a s sownd. An I shud reellee spell perfektd liyk this cos ther enuff letters in the English alphabet wivowt avin to repeat som of them an mix som of them up. C can be sownd lik ‘k’ or ‘s’. So lets jus not use it at all an then we sayv on a letter in the alphabet.

Then u can get rid of the letta ‘x’ cos it jus ‘k’ an ‘s’ toogeva liyk ‘ks’. So that’s anova one gon!

So if we all spoke in Tiglish insted of English then it well eezier for kids to lern an u not mayk spellin mistayks cus u jus riyt it as u say it! eezee!

The pathetic case for English:

Okay! I gonna show u ow stupid English is for ritin down. If I wrote:

“Ghoti”

Then you can pronouns this as “Fish” if u follow the silly English rules. If u don’t beleev me I show u.

In the word “enough” the gh at the end is pronownsd “f”
If u hav mor than 1 women then the “o” is pronownsd “i”
If you tayk the “ti” in “station” then it pronownsd “sh”

So u put them togeva an “ghoti” pronownsd “fish”!

So is it enee wonda that ower langwij (that a new Tiglish word for me) is so dam ard to lern cos it full o stupid bits that downt mayk sens!

So the jury as gon owt to discuss this very simpl cays of “Well it has dun us ok for so long, why chayng it now?” Verses “Why keep somfing that downt work?”

This a blog so u desiyd!

I vote for Tiglish (Cos I be stupid if I inventd it then didn’t beleev in it!)

Tiglish 1 English 0