My Stuff

My name is Tiger an I not givin my Sirname cos I not stupid!

I am 12 an 5/6 years old an I go to a very very posh boardin school. I there cos me Dad is fed up with all the trouble I cors around the housage. I fort it wos gonna be shit but it actulee well cool cos ther is lowds of shit to do an I fink that I actulee like doin work an learnin lowds. My bestage subject is English, an I know u finkin ~ He is takin the piss! ~ But I write like this cos its me. I cud write all proper like but thats for sissys. I onlee been at this school for a termage cos I been chucked owt of evry school but the last one which is where I met me bestest eva mate.

Me bestest mate eva is Wilbur who jus wen I wos avin the bestest time I eva ad in my whole weeny life wiv im, ee went an died afta Independance Day, an ee onlee 11. We did lowds o shit together an ee livd on a boat wiv is Dad who is calld Wilbur's Dad. I miss him shit-lowds but I goin to visit Wilbur's Dad tomorrow so as ee not get well lonelee at Christmas Time, though ee doesnt actulee celibratitudinal Christmas, cos ee not Christyfied. So ee as a partee on Solstice and does a big Thinky Walk instead of shit lowds of presentages. Solstice is from sol which means sun and stice which means stice. Wilbur's Dad looks exactly like a salty old sea-dog. Cos ee is one. Ee a reel pirate too.

I used to ave two big brovers but me real Dad went an killd them, an me Mam, an imself in the car wen I wos 6. But ee didnt kill me cos then it wud be shit hard to rite this wudnt it? So these well cool rich dudes who carnt ave no babbies bought me, an they been payin for it eva since. They r alrite parentals, but I tork abowt them in another post.

I live in a reellee cool old owse that is squillions of years old an has lowds of rooms an in the middle of a wood an nice fields an shit. I used to go razzin arownd on me quad until they movd it to me school. The quad, not me owse!

I know how to fly a twin engined Beechcraft an navigationate it to anywhere an land it at nite in fog an probably wiv a wheel missin. An that true! U ask me anyfin abowt flyin an I tell u. I not too gud at flyin choppycopters cos they well tricky an u need fourteen arms an three legs an ave to be able to turn the dials wiv ur eyebrows. I can race me quad faster then everybody in my school an I not scard of bugger all! Well, maybe some things, like prison and peapods murderin u an shit.

I done shit-lowds of bad stuff that I not tellin abowt yet, but I mite later. I done a few nice things, but I not admittin to them yet eeva.

I ave a well cool americano cowboy dude as a penpal an I write to im all the time. He calld Templeton. I fink I well lov im cos ee always onest an neva lies. I writ abowt im latr.

Thats My Stuff.


Tiger